another dream to tell

It was a regular night
with no sad songs, no sad thoughts nor sad memories to be reminisced.
I closed my eyes at 11.00 p.m.
--then here comes the dream.

It was also a regular dream-- at first.
Concerts, old friends and laughter filled it.
Without any alarm he came, safe and sound.
He sat next to me with a smile on his face saying, "I really need to go, my mother asked me to take care of my little brother."
Not wanting him to go, i asked him to stay-- while holding onto his fingers.
Instead of staying, he suggested me to go with him.

I could feel the happiness through my veins as he asked me to. I said "yes," with my hopeful eyes.
As soon as i replied to him, he pulled me up out of the room. We both laughed and smiled.

But then we stopped walking,

he just stood up in front of me,
still smiling with his usual stares-- the lovable one.

But then it was the time i realized,

it was a dream. I immediately tried to hug him, "one last chance," i thought.

But before my eyes, i woke up.
Remembering each details.
And once again, i cried my heart out.

Can't you just come home?

acting succccc

I've been thinking about things I can't do most,

the first one to come out was-- acting.



why?

I feel uncomfortable for being someone besides myself.

you might think that I'm a good one because of my 100% extrovert personality, but am not.

I know it's silly, acting is fictional. why would I feel uncomfortable?



being someone who is not me-- hardest thing. ever.

I'm not joking.

Sincerity

Ditujukan bagi kalian teman saya,

Saya ingin meminta maaf apabila:

1. Tidak bercerita

2. Tidak ada

3. Tidak mendengarkan

Terutama di saat-saat kalian membutuhkan saya. Jujur, saya sedang menarik diri saya dari apa-apa yang membuat saya terikat. Saya belum sembuh dan berharap kalian dapat mengerti-- bacalah keegoisan saya melalui tulisan ini.

My dream last night

You told me things you've never told me even a bit.
You told me you're scared and not ready about any of this.
You told me you'd come back later and i should just wait.

The fun thing,
You asked me about the other guy while i am having none but you
And you told me you are too.

The sad thing is,
It was just in my dream last night
And i woke up crying to myself.

i came across something that bothers me
and it leaded me to you,
fool me.

i can not stop making myself shut up, the words keep coming out of my brain and typed out of my fingers.

you did not want me to stop writing, do not you? i will not shorten any of these languages to make it looks longer like we used to do with out essays, oh it was a long ago. come here and there, you will always find me. found me-- like how i always do these days. oh no, i am using too many 'these', is it okay? are you okay with that?